Arsehole
Lower Marsh Arts Club
Playing until 26th October 2026
{Gifted ticket}
It is pristine, desirable and completely functional. While these are not the first words that come to mind when describing a toilet, this is what the Louis Catliff’s toilet is. Presented as a handsome furniture in an immaculate white suit, he could be mistaken as a knight in shining armour. However, as the story progresses, it becomes apparent that this toilet is obsessed with the mistress of a wealthy household in Chelsea and he would literally commit murder for her.
Under Nash Metaxas’s direction, Catliff’s mannerism reflects that of a psychopath with polarising traits. At times, he is innocent, keeping the drawings of his mistress on toilet paper in his pipes; and at other times show horrifying tendencies to swallow his victims whole. The behaviour of this toilet is influenced by the people he serves. Both the instigator and an accomplice, he is a faithful and devoted servant to his mistress. To this end, this anthropomorphised toilet behaves exactly how we expect it to, he is unable to act completely by himself without some kind of help. The charm of this plot is that you don’t know when it will be grounded in reality (and I do use this word in the utmost extrapolated way) and when it is pure high fantasy.
As the narrative progresses and the environment shifts from a stately manor to that of more civilian and grotty locales, Catliff changes out of his suit into more casual wear, reflecting the state he found himself in as he was disposed of, though he never lost faith and longing for his mistress, culminating in possibly the best happy ending one could expect for a toilet.
The story has crossed the threshold from ridiculous into absurdity in the best way possible, showcasing sheer novelty to humanise an object like a toilet to this extent, creating possibly the most unhinged toilet in history.
Creatives
Writer/Performer: Louis Catliff
Director: Nash Metaxas
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